Sharing, bonding, letting people in.
It’s so difficult to do that isn’t it? It’s so difficult to just talk, even if it is with your best friend, your mother, your sibling. We just bottle things within us, let it fester, turn over, over and over and over again, until it becomes some sort of diseased hole within you, a hole where your heart used to be.
I wanted to open up today. I wanted to say something meaningful, something…deep.
I couldn’t find anything.
Am I really such a well-balanced person that there are no times in my life where I felt grief, where I felt…sad? Am I really so shallow as to not have had anything meaningful to say?
Maybe I’m just deluding myself. Maybe there is something in me but I’ve so convinced myself that I AM happy that I AM in fact alive, that everything which would make me question myself is just locked up tight, somewhere in the recesses of my mind so that I dont have to bother about it. At all.
Sigh. A teacher told me to make a list of my strenghts and weaknesses, something which I have been putting off for a while. Maybe I should get down to it.
Weaknesses:
Over confidence
No self committment
No commitment at all actually.
I lose heart half way through anything.
Have great ideas. No drive to implement anything.
Careless about loads of things.
Takes up responsibility. Doesn’t see it through.
Loud and unruly.
Lacks good decision making skills.
Not a team player
Pretends to know loads about nothing.
Pretends to be something I’m not.
God. I dont think I can carry on.
(Comment and cheer me up please 
)